I realize that there are just more things to think about and write about than i could possibly put here. And wade is about to publish a post with all of the details of our Maoming trip to the orphanage. (Thank you Wade! I could not possibly desire to sit here and wait for pictures to upload...)
But one thing i do always want to remember is being where Ruthie's birth mother left her. The place was right outside of the orphanage gate. There are two orphanages on that road, so I am guessing that she left her at that specific one because she lives near. I looked around at the apartments and wondered if she was still close by. I grieved for her mama....in all of the books i have read, many mothers are forced to leave their "unperfect" children because they, themselves, are abandoned by their family if they keep their child. Without a job or food, both of them would die. I thought about my sweet Ruthie, for she had to be left in the middle of the night so that no one could find her mother and throw her in jail. What a terrible night for both of them. She was found in a box the next morning...the orphanage director, even though she has over 200 children to think about, remembered Sifang.
As I held her in that spot, she really became mine. I can not even tell you, unless you've done this before, what a sad and joyful moment it is. And all the while, your daughter has no idea. I studied the bricks, the smells, the ground....someday i'll let her know...but for now, i'll hold it close to my heart.
I told her, "Ruthie, your mother loved you a lot...she risked being found so that you would live."
On the way home, i told wade, (as bad as this seems) I'm so glad she was left so that I could have her. God does work through terrible things, and I'm so grateful that she is mine.
5 comments:
So touching and heartbreaking and wonderful. Love you.
Ginny S.
tears.tears.tears <3
WOW! I am balling my eyes out. I just went into Cooper's room where Dave and Cooper were playing and I was crying so hard. Dave thought something happened. I told him that he HAS to read all of these posts. So incredible. Just amazed at this whole process. Thank you for sharing it with all of us.
natalie very well said....it's a time that we as adoptive mom's of children that have been left will share...it is surreal but then again so very real...a day doesn't past that i don't think of emma lael's birth mom. the moment when your in your child's finding place is a defining moment.
God bless ruthie's birth mom for her courage to give ruthie a better life.
I'm proud of you and Ruthie's birth mom. I'm filled with tears of joy mingled with profound sadness, picturing the sweet baby girl, the cover of darkness and the blue gate. What light now shines in that once sorrowful place--to watch Ruthie's lovely mom holds her "newborn" daughter secure. I can't help but be thankful that Sifang's mother, led by our Father God, found the exact place of safety for her child--in your family's precious care. I love you all so much--Wade, Lawson, Fletcher, Natalie and Ruthie--and I'm so very proud of each part you have played, along with those who have come alonside to help bring our girl home(thanks Donna and Brooke!). Love, Mom
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